Reflective Essay

Twenty Percent

Sitting on my small rectangular desk, and talking as loud as everyone did as the teacher wasn’t in the class yet. The teacher was probably getting his stuffs from the teachers’ office, and walking from a long distance to our class. Everyone was talking, playing, and even quarreling. Since the exam had just past, we thought that we should enjoy the rest of the time. Suddenly, a man with a pile of papers came into our class and placed them on the table gently.

            Only a few of the students noticed his appearance, and others still talked and laughed without realizing that the teacher was there. He was our class teacher. He was old, gentle, and he seldom got angry. We had never seen him getting mad, but only that day. He asked the class to be quiet calmly at first, but we ignored him. Normally, he allowed whispering as long as other students were not distracted, but that day he was frustrated and annoyed by us. Then he asked loudly, “Are you very happy? Will you have the same feeling when these papers are given out?”

            We stopped instantly and guessed that the papers were our exam papers. I was very nervous because I thought I didn’t do well in the exam. Some of my friends’ faces looked indifferent and confident; therefore, their looks made me feel nervous. I was afraid I could be the only one who failed the exam. I took a deep breath slowly and tried to calm down.

            The teacher began to call out our names, and we walked to him and got our paper. I waited and waited, but my name wasn’t called yet. The students, who had received their papers, looked worse and worse than each other. I started to realize that the teacher’s pattern of giving out the papers. He gave them from the highest percentage to the lowest; consequently, I started to sweat and tremble because my name hadn’t been called yet. The class changed from smiles on the faces to sorrow and grave looks.

            Finally, my name was called, and I walked out slowly. The teacher showed me a disappointed look that gave me a hint that I did really bad. I went in front of him, and he asked me why I did so terribly. He showed me my paper, and I failed with a score of twenty percent.  The gruesome fact that it was my first F in all my exams made me paused. I couldn’t answer his question, and my tongue felt like it was tied up; and I couldn’t make any sound. He shook his head and told me to go back to my seat.

            Walking along the aisle with embarrassment, and especially when my friends asked whether I did it well. I felt ashamed and didn’t answer them, and they wanted to know it like hungry crocodiles fighting for an antelope. Suddenly, a hand went under my arm and snatched the paper away from me. The guy looked at it, and his eyes widened; and his lips turned to a smile. I could smell something bad happen, so I tried to get my paper back. He gave it to me and said he felt sorry for me. I thought that was true, but he shouted, “Someone got only twenty percent in the exam!”

            Everyone laughed very loud because they thought I didn’t mind if they did that. I always forgave people and could take a lot of jokes, but they didn’t know that I couldn’t take such humiliations. My face and ears turned red, and I felt like my head was being burned on hot coals. They kept on laughing and made me feel sick. Many laughing were heard around me, and they looked like devils who are laughing and turning round and round around me. I felt very dizzy and was about to faint. I ran out and went to the toilet and washed my face. I looked at the mirror and my eyes were red. For me, a man shouldn’t cry because of this, so I sniffed, wiped my face, and didn’t cry.

            Looking at the mirror, I saw myself and started to think what I have done before. I had been proud of myself because I always got good grades without a lot of studying. This time, I didn’t study at all because I thought the fortune would always be with me. The teachers always asked me to pay attention in class, but I didn’t. I even copied friend’s homework in a group because most of us didn’t do our homework. Then I started to find out the reason why I did badly this time. It was my friends who influenced me to be like that. I finally got the answer for my teacher. I knew who were influencing me, and I decided not to be too close with them from that time on; and this was my solution.

            After a month of trying to change; my endeavor to change was a success, from not using any brain cell to be fully responsible with dedication with my works. Hanging out with those students whom I used to call them nerds, made me a new person. They accepted me with both hands wide opened with courtesy. Looking at those students I used to be with made me feel stupid because I was under their control. It made me feel happy too, because I was not one of them anymore, but a spectator.

 I realized that peer pressures are very powerful. They can influence you and change your behavior. Choosing peers is very important in our lives especially during the period of adolescence. During that age, most of the teenagers find peer and even peer groups to form their characters. Therefore, having the correct and good peers can keep us away from troubles and lead us far in our future. We wouldn’t want to step on the wrong path like a narrow walkway with a lot of spikes, and hot fire beside and in front of us. The spikes are troubles and problems, and the fire is forcing us to move forward which causes us hard to turn back. I learned to make good choices and decisions when I am finding peers because they own a big part in shaping our characters. We have to stand firm and say no to peers who have a negative influence on us.